I’m not the mom I wanted to be. I think she got lost somewhere along the way.
I have four children, spaced evenly apart by 22 months, each time. When the youngest was born, I also had a one year old, a three year old, and a five year old.
It’s okay. Take a deep breath. Your reaction is totally normal. It’s an overwhelming thought, right?
In all honesty, it was a lot to handle. Now, don’t misunderstand me. All of my children are so very wonderfully loved and wanted. I would never go back and change God’s plan for our family. And if he had placed more sweet ones in my arms, I’m sure they would be ever so loved. But let’s be honest and real. It was a hard thing to care for so many littles at the same time.
Somewhere in the midst of just surviving the laundry and the nursing and the diapers, I got a little lost. When life throws a whole lot of wonderful crazy at you, sometimes you get a little turned backwards and upside down. It’s hard to see past the overwhelming waves of joy and sorrow and love, isn’t it?
I blinked and, suddenly, here I am with four big kids. I survived the hard years of toddlers and preschoolers. My baby is a Kindergartener.
Here I am, with time to think. Here I am, realizing that my time as a momma is flying by fast. Here I am, wanting to make the years count and counting the years I have left to raise up some sweet little hearts.
And in all honesty, I want to find the mom I wanted to be. She was a lot more fun than this stressed out version that is always putting out a fire, going in circles, and never getting anything done.
I want to do more than just survive the day. I want to live each day.
Are you there, too? A survivor wanting to thrive…
Look up, sister friend.
You don’t have to live life like every day is an emergency. You don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to make everyone happy. You don’t even have to save the world. Sister friend, you don’t have to be Pinterest Perfection.
It’s time we remember who we were made to be, the woman God is nurturing us to become. What has He called us to?
The generic answer is pretty simple. We are to Love God and Love the Folks he places in our path.
How that looks for each of us is different. God didn’t create us to be flat, two-dimensional reflections of His Glory. He created us with all the variety of his infinite creativity.
You get to be the woman He Created.
You get to toss out the cookie cutter images of a wife, mother, sister, or friend and just be lovely you, loved by God.
God made you and He is bringing out the beauty of who he made you to be. You are beautiful, His Masterpiece.
What is He calling for from your heart?
How is He trying to make you shine?
I think it’s time to look past the dirty dishes and piles of laundry so we can remember… Look past the looming expectations and demands. It’s time to look up and listen, so we can hear His voice. So He can make us clean and lovely.
I want to be That Girl. I want to be the woman that shines with the loveliness that only God can paint. I want to live life beautifully and love great big.
Look up, sister friend. Look past all this crazy mess of living and find the life you were meant to live. Don’t let today’s craziness keep you from finding the woman He wants you to become.
What is God trying to do in your life, right now?
What is He calling you to do? What passions did He place in your beautiful heart?
What parts of your life need change? Where is He gently nudging your heart to soften?
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires. Psalm 37:4
He is working on my heart. He is working to help me to desire things that are good and pleasing. I want to be the woman He made me to be… More precious than rubies…